Understanding, making sense of, and dealing with emotions in healthy, beneficial ways are all part of the process of processing emotions. It takes time to develop emotional intelligence.
You might initially feel nothing because you’re so unconnected from or used to repressing your own emotions.
It takes time and patience to learn about emotions; it is similar to learning anything new.
Every day, take a few moments to sit quietly, concentrate on your body, and try to name the feelings you are experiencing. To help you figure out what you might be feeling, make a list of your feelings. If you are prone to emotional outbursts or find yourself being overtaken by distressing emotions, wait until the intensity fades before attempting to reflect on how you felt.
In order to get to the stage of being able to process emotions and feelings, you first need to be able to identify them and stay with them long enough to understand and make sense of them
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Many Different Ways To Process Your Emotions
Psychodynamic therapy explores unconscious processes, including defense mechanisms. “It’s best for people who want to gain insight and understand how early relationships are influencing current behaviors.”
CBT therapy (cognitive behavioral therapy) aims to change behaviors by examining unhealthy thought processes. “This type of therapy is good for people who are committing to doing homework as part of therapy and setting goals between sessions.”
DBT therapy (dialectical behavioral therapy) was designed for people with borderline personality disorder (BPD), but it’s been proven to work for people with other mental health conditions as well. “It’s best for people who have difficulty regulating their emotions and need help learning healthy ways to cope with their feelings.”
Group therapy involves one or more psychologists who lead a group of five or more patients who usually are struggling with similar problems (substance abuse, grief, social anxiety, anger). Joining a support group might be a good fit if you find that talking through your problems helps you make sense of them or if your life lacks a strong support network.
EMDR therapy (The best candidates for EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) are those who have experienced trauma in the past or who have conditions like PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder). EMDR works by reprocessing traumatic events from the past.
How To Process Emotions？
1. Identification and awareness of emotions and feelings
- What emotions or sensations do I feel?
- Where exactly in my body do I feel it? in my chest? throat? stomach?
- What ideas come to mind that might be indicative of how I’m feeling?
2. The Capacity To Remain Present
Although it can be challenging, remember that experiencing difficult emotions won’t harm you. Practice slow breathing when you are going through a challenging emotional phase. Count to four as you breathe in and to five as you breathe out. Bring an openness and a sense of wonder to the feeling as you breathe it in. and ask yourself?
3. Processing in order to act on the emotion appropriately.
In order to progress to stage four, you basically need to comprehend why you are feeling what you are.
- Exist any needs that are unmet? (Do I feel misunderstood, ignored, or disrespected?
- Have there been any boundary violations?
- A value has been tainted, right?
- What part have I played in this misery?
4. Addressing Emotions.
Understanding how to handle a feeling or emotion is difficult. To get a fair assessment of what might be taking place, it is very beneficial to speak with someone whose judgment we trust.
We need to try to reframe our thinking in more constructive ways in order to release some emotions because they are caused by distorted thought patterns.
Based on what you conclude from processing you may need to
- Get a need met.
- Address distorted thinking
- Assert yourself to someone
- Re-establish a boundary
- Let the feeling pass
- Express your thoughts and feelings to someone or through journaling
- Take corrective action and realign yourself with your values.
- When you feel the urge to isolate and sleep, go take a walk or talk to someone instead.
- Apologize or make amends to someone
Other Ways To Processing Your Feelings
1. Recognize The Signs
Your inability to name or categorize your emotions may indicate that you haven’t fully processed them. There may be emotional baggage that needs to be processed if you frequently turn to alcohol or drugs to calm down or alter your mood.
2. Label Your Feelings
Labeling how we feel can be extremely difficult for those of us who have learned to keep our emotions to ourselves.
“Many people tend to oversimplify their emotions and fail to recognize they might have a myriad of emotions, like sadness, anger, hopelessness, and fear, all as a result of one interaction,” says Marcum. “We cannot fully process our emotions if we are unable to identify their various layers.”
3. Experiment With Different Styles Of Processing
To find the styles that work best for you, investigate various methods of processing your emotions. “Try them not just once, but for a while — at least a week or two,” suggests Mutchler, and see how you feel afterward.
Start with the ones that most intrigue you and try them all one at a time. Do you already keep a journal or do you like to paint? These may serve as beneficial outlets for expressing your emotions. Do you typically vent to a friend or family member? You might find relief from therapy, whether it’s individual or group.
